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Tuesday, 8 Jul 2003
TODAY’S LESSON: ADVERTISING
“By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself. No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root - I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke… there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a friend - I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations. I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing, he’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, he’s very smart.” Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! “Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now, he’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research - huge market. He’s doing a good thing.” Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags!
Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!
“Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill’s very bright to do that.” God, I’m just caught in a fucking web! “Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…” How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?”
Thanks Bill!
July 9th, 2003 at 5:41 pm
Bill woulda had a field day with Bush Jnr. Hey there Davion.
July 9th, 2003 at 9:01 pm
i see davion is going for the Bill Hicks fan dollar. That’s good. We’ve done research. The Bill Hicks fan market is a good market, very targeted - 24-35 year old males, college educated, yeah, good market. good work davion.
July 9th, 2003 at 9:06 pm
I am not doing that, you evil scumbag!!!
October 10th, 2003 at 11:21 am
God bless you Bill
October 10th, 2003 at 11:21 am
God bless you Bill
January 22nd, 2004 at 2:09 pm
bill hicks was a true legend. i believe he was sent from god. “you think if jesus ever comes back he’s gona want to see another fucking cross?!” so true…..
January 30th, 2004 at 4:30 pm
Quite a suggestion there. Now: Should I use a gun? Nah, too messy. Pills. That’s the answer. Nice and peaceful.
Anyone got a few dozen seconals they’re not using?
I’m a graphic designer, and most of my clients are real estate agents. I make fliers and ads so they can sell their listings. I’m also producing a virtual tour of my home town for the chamber of commerce, so people who want to move here can get a feel for the town.
Now I realize that I am the scum of the Earth. Pardon me for breathing your air, Bill. I have seen the light.
The world would be a better place if no one had any idea what they were buying. All purchases ought to be a pig in a poke, a crap shoot, a shot in the dark.
It would be more interesting, anyway.
January 30th, 2004 at 7:02 pm
stop whoring your services here, scumbag!
January 30th, 2004 at 8:50 pm
naz–
Whoring my services? I didn’t tell you my name, my business’s name, my home town, my phone number or address. How can that possibly be construed as whoring my services?
Maybe you have me confused with your mom.
January 30th, 2004 at 9:31 pm
My mom was run over by a coked-up marketing executive three years ago you insensitive scumbag!
January 30th, 2004 at 10:15 pm
I hope his car was OK.
February 4th, 2004 at 12:45 am
real estate agents are the lowest pieces of shit out there. and you advertise for them. jesus, i dunno how low that makes you….
February 4th, 2004 at 3:08 am
Aw, did a big bad Realtor abuse you as a puppy?
When I make an ad, I conscientiously stick to the facts. No embellishment, no bullshit. There are laws, and I have morals, believe it or not.
I, too, loathe commercialism. DIET COKE! LARGER PENIS! Give me a break. Chevy or Ford? Who gives a rat’s ass? People who’d rather push a Ford than Drive a Chevy are idiots, plain and simple. Gullible, pathetic, easily manipuled idiots.
When someone wants to sell his house, it really helps to have a photo of it and a few facts handy.
Got a problem with that?
Get a life. It’s fun!
February 4th, 2004 at 10:19 pm
everyone gets their own opinion. mine is either that you’re a scumbag going straight into the inferno or you’re one of my friends successfully getting my goat.
February 6th, 2004 at 8:21 pm
Look. I’m a graphic artist. I help realtors by taking photos and making fliers. I don’t lie or mislead anyone when I make an ad (if the Realtors lie, I don’t know about it). I also do digital photo restoration, I make panoramic virtual tours on CD ROM, and I’m learning web design.
If that makes me the scum of the earth in your opinion, you have some deep-seated mental problems. You have my pity.
February 10th, 2004 at 3:53 pm
* nazzzz is now known as naz
* ChanServ sets mode: +oq naz naz
<assorted: morning
<assorted: looks like a start a job tomorrow
<assorted: ah; the bittersweet feelings of relief and sadness wash over me
* Malakan has quit IRC (Malakan)
<naz: what jobs this
<assorted: dunno; some marketing dept
<assorted: starts thursday i just found out
<naz: MARKETING!
<naz: bwhahaa
March 25th, 2004 at 1:08 am
Microchip Implant: Human Race Enslaved!
April 1st, 2004 at 1:14 pm
Oh, enough with this righteous save-the-planet-kill-kapitalism bullshit! As if graphic design or advertisements can make people buy stuff. People will buy stuff they don’t need anyway. Just put the blame on human nature, instead of advertising.
Sure i despise companies like Nike for using child laboer, adn Mc Donalds for making people fat. But face it: we need that stuff. I’m sure even Bill eats fastfood and drives a car.
April 1st, 2004 at 2:04 pm
Unlikely, he’s worm food
May 12th, 2004 at 12:29 pm
The difference is that Bill was educated enough to make his own decisions. The issue is that people who don’t know any better are being coerced into financial and intellectual exhaustion by evil money grabbing scum-bags with nada social conscience.. They are a desease on the planet and we don’t need them. We don’t need to be told what we want to buy, we can make up our own minds. Freedom my ass.
August 11th, 2004 at 9:10 pm
I found this web site while looking for something about crroked Realtors. Well I am an independent inspector in a small town of Oklahoma. I have been very naive at first, I have tried to get along with Realtors, but found out that 95% or more are crooks and liars!!!!! They will do anything to avoid a good inspection for the buyer! The poor buyer in most cases is also naive and will do anything the Realtor says, maybe even jump off the cliff if the Realtor says so!! There is an inspector here that is maried to a Realtor,, he even told me he donates money to their organization. He gets so many insp[ections he can hardly keep up! There is another inspector that drive a 100 miles or more for the Realtors here to do inspection. Me on the other hand get a few inspections here and there, but my clients are very very happy with what I do.
I would say to all of you out there there is eveil and corruption in high places, I have experianced it first hand with Real Estate Agents! I have been threatened, yelled at, lied to, you name it I had no idea how bad they were until I got into this business. People wake up!!! Most of you will be buying a home someday. BUYER BEWARE! CHECK OUT THINGS FOR YOURSELF, THINK FOR YOURSELF! DONT LET A REALTOR STEER YOU AROUND OR CONTROL YOU. FIND YOU OWN INSPECTOR, DO RESEARCH. CHECK OUT THIS WEB SITE: http://www.independentinspectors.org/
August 12th, 2004 at 1:59 pm
You goddamn scumbag!
September 2nd, 2004 at 7:42 pm
Suicide is too dignified for these genetic defectives.
They need to be fed to an animal,at least they will serve a purpose.The sad part is,if you take the dumbest commercial or ad campaign you have to realize that college educated people sat in a board room discussing that idea for hours or even days,then afterwords they probably had a round of applause and the “genius” that came up with the bad idea gets tons of loot.(i.e. Old Navy)I have started boycotting products that have terrible commercials or wont get out of your face.(Pepsi,Bud,public service announcements,presidential campaigns and tampons just to name a few)Also why should we have to pay a cable company or sattelite provider for service,when 90% of the channels have commercials?Those stations with commercials should be free.I dont see it as being any different then the telemarketing thing.You pay good money just to have someone trying to sell you something all the time.One more problem i have(then im done)is the stores that stock so much stuff that you cant even get a cart through the isle.Does America need 50 different kinds of t.p.?Do we really need all the different brands that are out there?I know what you’re thinking.This is America everyone has a right to put out a product or open a business.Tell that to the guy who wants to start a power company or phone co.Tell that to the guy who has an idea for a cheaper cleaner vehicle.Tell that to any average person who wants to run for president.This country was founded on bullshit that is why everyone is needs a hard on pill.That is why everyone needs an SUV or a cell phone that plays 100 different songs but cant get reception.Stop buying this crap and the ads will stop.Oh well I guess we could always go to Canada where the healthcare is free.Thanks for your time.
Sincerely,
Dan-O
Pissed-of Human Being
October 9th, 2004 at 7:52 am
Know what Bill would have hated more than anything? Lack of original thought - keep that in mind when all you can use it the word ’scumbag’ …
October 9th, 2004 at 1:07 pm
he also despised bad grammer! and mexicans
October 9th, 2004 at 5:18 pm
You know what Bill really hated? Platypus! I mean, what the fuck is that sticking out of their head!? Yeah, Bill sure hated anyone who nicknamed themselves Platypus…
January 20th, 2005 at 3:23 am
i’m up all night cramming for marketing (!) and in an Advertising (!!) reading I came across proof positive that its pure evil.
http://b00mb0x.org/adsfersatan.gif
February 11th, 2005 at 1:34 pm
I was lucky enough to be there for one of Bill’s anti-marketing rants - his last ever performance in England. A funny, funny guy. I don’t think I ever busted a gut as hard as I did that night.
What I think Bill hated was hypocrisy - and he saw hypocrisy in people trying to sell things that were worthless. I don’t think his targets were realtors who sold houses or people who sell nuts and bolts and power tools - you know, useful stuff. His hatred was for people who packaged boy bands like New Kids on the Block - who sold a culture that was almost completely without merit. He loathed people that shilled food and clothes and music as ‘lifestyle’ choices when that lifestyle was so empty and ugly and trivial and peurile that it actually degraded people and diminished them.
Bill was a spiritual guy. He started kicking the money-changers and the marketing men out of his comedy temple when he saw the vast waste of energy and resources on things so counterfeit and awful and frivolous - a whole culture of superficiality - that it left people washed up and ruined at the margins. Those people could be sweatshop workers, or simply the forgotten poor. People who could have been clothed and fed and housed and made to live productive lives were sidelined in the desperate pursuit of bad music, bad clothes, bad cars and bad consumerism.
And he thought that was bullshit, that’s all.
March 1st, 2005 at 2:47 am
Well said prune. Bill was one of the great social commentators AND the best stand-up of them all. I have no doubt he will be recognised as an important figure in the future.
May 5th, 2005 at 9:50 pm
the don of don’s
like john peel
irreplaceable
August 25th, 2005 at 6:53 pm
Growing up into this world is so much harder then i would of guessed personally ive struggled, alot, and ive found the works of hicks have pulled me through by making light of some of the most frightening things you can discover as you wake up. he was absoultely brilliant, im supprised how anyone (who isnt evil) can argue that he was anything less. however while you can debate his style of delivery (which i find to be hilarious) you cannot argue the FACTS he presented and his message being a very rare one of TRUTH. as far as comparing him to jesus, im not religious but i beleive in jesus, i formed my opinions on jesus long before id heard of hicks and they do both fall into very similar catagorys. Right on bill, really do fucking love you x x
February 21st, 2006 at 8:26 am
I wish he was alive today… what he would say about Bush Jr… I was supportive of him at first, I’ll admit it, but omg what’s going thru his head?? The man is just finishing his father’s job with no reason’s. Don’t get me wrong, Saddam is a complete tyranist jerk, but if the people wanted to be free, let them do what we did, fight for your freedom… if you want it that bad, do it yourself. Our government needs to stop sticking their nose in everyone else’s business and pushing our ways on everyone. Maybe the whole world doesn’t want our lifestyle… highest polluter’s in the world, crime throughout our streets because our government is so busy witht he rest of the world their not even willing to fix our problems! There needs to be more people like him in the world, willing to speak the truth and bash it into these morons heads around the world. I see that our education is dropping in america… less and less money going towards the education of our children, what’s up with that? I know one thing for sure, we need a normal american president, not these rich yuppies… someone that grew up middle class and knows what the people really want!
April 27th, 2007 at 9:09 am
[…] griff ich zu Bill Hicks. Im empfehle besonders in diesem Zusammenhang die Lektüre seiner historisch wertvoller Auseinandersetzung mit Werbung und Marketing. Ich tue das auch in musikalischer Mission, denn Fila Brazillia haben es im wunderbaren, […]